Unfading Light
Earlier this year, my grandfather died suffering from dementia. Shortly thereafter, I officiated a Burial Rite for a man who also died suffering from dementia. Often, I officiate funerals for people who have died much diminished by illness and age. I meet these deaths, as I met my grandfather’s death, with mixed feelings of sorrow and relief. The sorrow stems from hardly remembering the last normal moment or interaction with my grandfather. On the other hand, I find relief in the thought he will not diminish further in this life. So too, sorrow and relief form the themes of the homilies I preach before bereaved families in similar situations.
More than my own emotions, I also find myself wondering about the connection between mind, or even spirit, memory, and personality. My straightforward thoughts about this issue all seem to fall short of cohering into a satisfactory explanation. However, I found a way into deeper reflection through poetry, and specifically, a poem I composed as I meditated on what it might be like to move from an awareness of fading intellect, to confusion, then ultimately to bliss.
Above me light withdrew from dark advance,
The gloaming embers signal long-day's end.
For wisdom long ago succumbed to chance,
And reason sleeps before the night descends.
I outward looked for comfort finding none,
Familiar friends within me find no home
Beyond my mind engulfed by time's rerun
I'm home they tell me. Home? Is this my home?
But God appears in heaven's bower bright,
Unfading light remembers perfect bliss.
In every story told He takes delight,
For every story springs from his abyss.
The One eternal story made my own.
I know myself again, for I am known.